Thursday, April 30, 2015

How We Deal with Overabundance

We have a lot of stuff. In general. As people. As Americans. As middle-class. Personally, we are now in that place in our lives that is oh-so-different from when we were first married 15ish years ago with a table, a loveseat, a mattress, a few pots and pans, and that's about it. And our current level of abundance has now spilled over to "kid stuff."
It's a dilemma for me, for sure.
It was recently brought to my attention by a babysitter who came over and announced, "She's got a lot of stuff."
"Can't tell we're Quakers who want to live simply, can you?" I asked.
And I've been thinking about it for weeks now.
Because it's an ethical issue for me.

I want to have less "stuff"; I believe in sharing resources and not taking more than I need.

Have you ever read Crash by Jerry Spinelli? One of the main characters in the story is a Quaker kid, Penn, and let me tell you...his parents do it "right." Because in one scene his friend comes over to play and wants to know where all his toys are. Penn just has a "wood, not even painted, old-looking, about ready for the junk heap" Conestoga wagon under his bed.
"So where's the rest?"
Now he was pulling the wagon in circles. "The rest of what?"
"Your toys."
He pointed to the wagon. "There it is."

Now that's a Quaker simplicity miles and miles beyond where I currently am. I'm going to tell you right now that there is a lot of nobility in that, but it will not ever be feasible at our house. There are several reasons for that: 1) our consumer-driven selves, 2) graciously gifting family and friends, 3) an abundance of second-hand opportunities, and 4) the single child household (with parents who would actually like to have time to themselves while said child is entertained once in a while).

So here are my reflections on how to tame "overabundance." Consider it a "To Do" list for myself that I just happen to be sharing with you:
Organize What I Already Have
You never know how much you have or "overly" have until you pull it all out of boxes and other hiding places and organize. A couple of my favorite decluttering challenges are the 40 Bags in 40 Days and the 30-Day Declutter (not that I've actually made it all the way through either one, but hey, it's a start). Knowing what we have helps us consume less, shows us what we can share with others, and helps us see excesses and give generously to others.
Buy Less
Easier said than done, but I know that I already have everything I need and more. One thing that helps me buy less is just not going to stores; I have a pretty direct route between work and home and I try not to veer off. Making lists when I do need to go out keeps me from wander-buying. And why not just ask for things we might want or need? We use a Buy Nothing group with the aim of not going out to buy as much while giving to others in our little niche of the world.
Accept Gifts Graciously (and then unburden myself later)
I learned this one from a mentor teacher as I started receiving little gifts from our students. She said she always accepted gifts as if they were the best thing she'd ever received, displayed them until the end of the school year, and then quietly gave them away/donated them later. We do the same with things we receive as a family. We consider our need, the needs of others, and the feelings of the "giver"...always.
Keep Pictures and Memories (not the items themselves)
This one is hard for me because my mom got rid of almost everything from my childhood. We didn't have many pictures, so I'm really just left with the memories. On the other side, my mother-in-law kept everything, and I mean everything. It kind of gives us a good guide for balance in what we keep for the Little Soul in our home...not too much, not too little--Goldilocks style.
Consider Usage
I love the little tips that float around the Internet like turning your hangers backward, forward as you wear something, and then getting rid of anything you haven't worn in a year. It's the kind of thing I consider as I'm decluttering a space. I recently reorganized our computer area/shelf, full of discs for who-knows-what purpose. After sticking each one into my drive, I now have a much smaller stack of actually usable material. I also consider those items I have hanging around for the "once a year" need. It may be time to give to someone who would use them more often and borrow when we need something.
Share Ownership
Portland area is notorious for this kind of thing: ever heard of a tool library? We've got 'em. How about a kitchen tool library? Yep, that too! We've got a toy library, a good ol' community book library, and even, oh Portland, a feminist literature library. We know people who pool money for houses, cars, meat, and even weird ingredients for natural deodorants, hand sanitizers, lotions, etc.
Re-sell
When you can, take care of items that you will only use for a short time, especially the way kids go through things. There are tons of avenues for making a few bucks while passing along things that have retained usefulness (and at resale prices, it should help the buyer save money, too).
Be generous:
Donate to a worthy cause
Hand-them-down to people you know
Re-gift when possible


Simplicity To Do List from Quaker Parenting
Query: How do the things we have hinder or enhance our relationships with each other and with God?

On Simplicity: The essence of the Simplicity Testimony of Friends is placing God at the center of our lives. It is more than a belief; it is a commitment to action. Friends believe that a person's spiritual life and character are more important than what we own or our material worth. Quakers try to live lives in which activities and possessions do not get in the way of our connections with others and with God. Simplicity allows us to focus on what is most important.  (Various sources)